Why do I need Brahmavidya? How do I know I need it?
The whole spiritual sādhanā can be considered to be a process of convergence. And the normal worldly secular life is a process of divergence. From the divergence, we have to grow to convergence. We have five senses. All the five senses are active and vibrant. Every day, ever since we wake up till we go to sleep, in front of each sensory organ you will find ample variety. So the five senses along with the great assortment and variety each represents, you can imagine how scattered and divergent our mind will be. From this state of divergence, you have to get the mind converge.
The divergence comes from outside. The focus throughout the wakeful state is outside on the object front. But we miss the point that this object itself comes to light because of the subject and in front of the subject. So, the wakeful state is a domination in the hands of the object. But actually when you start thinking about it, the object itself is something that the subject goes to as it were. I was sleeping. It is I who wake up, and the ‘I’ which was lying inactive so to say, it suddenly starts becoming vibrant, activating the senses.
Who activates the senses? The subject ‘I’. The same subject was remaining completely restful and asleep. At that time, no object, no divergence, nothing was there. The moment we wake up, who woke up? The world did not wake up. The sleeper wakes up. His waking up means the subject activating the senses and the body. This point, can you remember? This is a great point which you have to reflect upon, reflect upon, reflect upon endlessly, continuously, ceaselessly, as a result of which the object domination will be overwhelmed by the subject presence.
It is the subject that animates the object and it is the subject that takes the imprint of objects. The entire process is subjective, subjective, subjective. The subject animates, activates the senses and the subject by that process goes on taking imprints. All these imprints are not object imprints, but imprints are owned by, caused by, maintained by, employed by the subject. So, the subject alone becomes, so to say objectified (by these imprints). If the so-called object imprints are formations authored by the subject, is not the whole process subjective - Of the subject, in the subject, by the subject, for the subject? If you start thinking in this manner, the entire wakefulness will become a kind of a float or a bubble, maybe a number of bubbles on the lake or sea of your mind. Can you imagine? That is why this vidyā does not lend itself to many people.
You have to think and be guided by knowledge. This process according to me is achieved by your finding and seeking a Sadguru.
Already you are a boy or a girl, a man or a woman. At any point of time, you have a family around. Even if marriage is not over, there will be a family around you. After marriage also, it is the family itself. So, that familial note is dominant in an individual and the relationship that arises from it is also is powerful and dominant.
In spite of it, when you start becoming aware of the fact that “I need a Guru”, it is not like going to an advocate or any other financial or management consultant. Going to the Sadguru is a soul affair, matter. Why should you go to a Guru at all? He does not give you additional sensory organ or a mind or an intelligence or an ego or the soul. Still you feel like going to him because in him you find something that you miss and you find that he is the one who will give you what you miss. Unless you have this kind of a feeling, going to a Guru will not have its ample effect.
Just like marriage implants a new relationship, the birth of a child also plants a new relationship, going to a Guru will mean planting in your mind and heart, a new relationship which is quite different from the rest. You have gone to him for your spiritual purpose and he is a spiritual person. So the interaction with the Guru should be spiritual. That spirituality, you cannot get from anybody else. It is not like a group of devotees singing together bhajans. That is a collective devotional program.
You go to a Guru primarily to have a very specific personal relationship. What you are missing otherwise and seeking, that you must get from the Guru. People may go to the Guru, not with a full sense like this. They also go. But the relationship should start becoming vibrant and active in you. If you develop fondness, regard and intimacy with the Guru, that is actually strengthening your spirituality, spiritual nature.
So, the exclusiveness you have towards the Guru and Guru-relationship, that will determine the plight and fate of your spiritual seeking after the Guru-sanga. How well you are able to feel it and develop will also determine how well the seeking will progress and attain siddhi. You go to the Guru to imbibe. This imbibing is done over a period of time but it is primarily observation and gaining of knowledge. The entire objectude, object involvement throughout the waking state has to be overwhelmed by the subject presence, dimension and splendor.
Ask the question every time. “I am having my secular life. Is it in any way different from spiritual life? What is functioning in me during the wakeful hours as a secular interactive person? That functioning element is not secular, worldly or material. That is a spiritual factor. Which is the spiritual factor? Mind. It is not matter and energy. It is intelligence. Again, no matter, no energy. It may be ego.
Mind, intelligence and ego are not material formations, creations or outcomes. The material formations are all coming within the sphere of panchabhutas and as objects, inert objects, inert insentient objects. But the mind, intelligence and ego are not insentient and they are not objects. They are subjective. What shall I say - Principles or conceptual entities like infinity, zero, goodness, sympathy, sacrifice. What are these? These are not stones, liquids. They are not solids, liquid or gaseous substances, forms of matter. Nor are they energy like heat and light of fire. They are not also mere sky and space which is also inert. You can have sympathy only from a living person. That living presence is not matter and object.
So the mind, intelligence and ego which are functioning in you are not material or energial. They are spiritual. So, what is interacting throughout the waking state? Your spiritual contents. When the spiritual contents alone are involved, is involved in your wakeful interactions, how dare you call it secular? So, the difference between secular and spiritual which is an artificial wall constructed because of ignorance and delusion about spirituality, should fall. And you must be able to feel “Whatever I do, wherever I am, everything is truly, whether I admit it or not, spiritual.”
When thus spirituality becomes buoyant, vibrant, wholesome, powerful, to envelope, to comprehend, to besmear, to coat, to sync all the wakeful activities, whatever you may do, don’t want me to name them. This is where I burst into extraordinary and supra-transcendental expressions. Even if you speak a lie, that lying is done by the mind, by the tongue, living tongue. That lying also is a spiritual expression. Why am I saying this? You should understand that it is so.
When you understand that it is a spiritual expression, you will have a whole revolution about lying. Why am I lying? Normally people lie to gain something from outside. If what gains is the spiritual mind and the purpose of gaining is also spiritually getting elevated or joyous, then the joy and elevation belong to the mind. And that does not get any kind of a plus from anything. So, naturally the lie becomes shy. The wrong becomes shy. You become reluctant to speak lies. That is how people write to me and tell me, “Swamiji, my whole life is transformed.” Why this transformation? Wherefrom does it come? It doesn’t come from outside. It comes from inside. They may not understand all that I talk, but somehow a spark hits them. Now this is directly proportional to the intimacy, the exclusiveness, the fondness you have to the Guru. The Guru becomes the first and last in your life.
The Guru is a physical representation of your soul, of your ideal, of your attainment. So when you have that Guru-bhakthi and Guru-sanga, everything becomes subservient to it. That is why people with Guru-bhakti rise tremendously and fast in life, spiritual life. If you consider the Guru to be one more friend adding to the list of friends I have or one more acquaintance, that is different.
Don’t miss the point. It is the subject that wakes up or wakes up the senses. It is the subject that animates the senses, it is the subject that designs and authors your interactions. So all the interactions are not object expressions or entries but subject expressions and display. When you start thinking in this manner, don’t you think you will remain always spiritual? Don’t want to be spiritual. Be spiritual. Don’t want to be spiritual, don’t desire spirituality. You became a son when you were born or a daughter and you ever are that. In the same manner, one day, become spiritual and let you be spiritual ever thereafter.
Whether you are walking eastward, westward, southward or northward, the walker is the same person. When you think of the world or God, the thinker is the same. The walker is the same. Though the sight of the world is no different from the sight of God, the world is a concrete and a solid expression like ice of water, of God. This is that wonderful, complete and comprehensive thinking and the whole thing rests upon your your relationship with Guru, how you look at Him and what kind of an imbibing you are able to make.