I am writing with so much guilt and hesitation. I am 45 years old, Male.
I am getting so many negative thoughts all the time. Like, fear of job, unnecessary doubts over people including on my wife and I will not tolerate when she will speak to any male. But I know 100% that she is very honest and very good. Knowing this also, I am unable to control my negative thoughts.
I have short temper also. I will shout at my subordinates often and even shout at my children also for very minor mistakes. I have been reading your teaching like inner treasure since more than a year and fully impressed of them for that moment only. Later like a dog tail, my mind becomes as usual.
I am putting all my efforts to control my self with various guidelines of you like focusing my self from out to inner etc. Still I am struggling.
Requesting your kindness to help me in this for better practice and thought.
Poojya Swamiji Replies:
Dear and blessed VR :
Harih Om Tat Sat. Anything negative is lessened and becomes extinct, by dwelling upon its opposite virtues. Understand this. Let negatives be there. But do not think of them fondly, or permitting them. Feel “I am good, benign, loving”. Take these like medicine for a disease. ‘I am good, loving, trusting, confident, peaceful and loving’. These thoughts alone should fill you. Do not say anything. But just feel these, these alone.
I am good, I am loving. Chant these as mantras.
I am pure, I want to be pure, purity, purity, purity.
Fill yourself with these thoughts. Do not say anything, or resist. Just do, and see what happens.
Love your life, your children. Love and love them.
Let me know, after some days.